THAI ME A RIVER

My experience dating a Thai prostitute in Phuket

After falling for one of the bar girls in Patong, here’s how my paid sex turned into a steamy romance.

Within moments of walking into the bar, I was greeted by a gorgeous little Thai, who took me by the hand and escorted me to a small table and asked what I wanted to drink.

The room was full of middle-aged, white men – who were accompanied by girls half their age.

“Wanna play a game?” asked the tiny Asian, as she served a spiced Mai Tai and revealed an old-school, Connect Four grid.

“If you win, you get free drink. If I win, you buy me one?” she said with a cheeky smile.

Challenge accepted.

Several defeats and a handful of rounds later, I came to the conclusion that I was never going to win – but I carried on playing anyway, as truth is, I wanted to f*ck her brains out!

An hour passes and we haven’t stopped flirting with each other. She’s cute, tiny frame but with curves in the right places, pretty face too. Easy 8/10.

We eventually traded the red and yellow Connect Four pieces for some balls and a cue.

I thought I stood a much better chance of beating her at pool, and I was right.

But despite winning with ease, the real win come from my exclusive view of her tight ass and cleavage each time she leant over the table.

As the night progressed, we continued to devour the cocktail menu as if it were a rack of ribs.

We couldn’t get enough of each other.

For a moment, I’d completely forgotten what she was, until she asked…

“Do you want me?”
I stopped and stared at her, a little shocked as it came out of nowhere.

She revisited the question, more specifically… “Do you want boom boom?”

“Errr, yes”, I said. Her face broke into a cute smile.

We negotiated the price for a bit, and I eventually got her down to 2000Baht for the night (that’s about £40 quid.)

As I jumped onto the scooter and she gripped my waist, I looked back at her and said “Ready?” I couldn’t believe my luck.

We walk into the hotel and the man on reception smiles at me whilst nodding his head in approval.

As I open the door to the room she kisses me, but then stops – and says she’s going to have a shower.

Meanwhile, I strip off, pop a Viagra, hop into bed and start fiddling with my flop as for some stupid reason, I want her to be impressed (if you know what I mean).

She walks over to me, wearing nothing but a towel, starts to kiss me, whilst feeling me through the covers.

She then drops the towel, and reveals a faultless frame, before pulling back the duvet and sucking my rock hard d*ck for a good twenty minutes.

I could have easily come in her mouth, twice.

We went at it like rabbits for an hour or so, sweating our tits off, but loving each and every thrust.

We’d have probably gone on all night if it wasn’t for the fact I’d cramped up, but she kind of found that cute and ended up falling asleep in my arms.

When I woke up the next morning, she was still there, snuggled up in exactly the same position. She looked cute. Really cute.

I hop in the shower, but before long am greeted by the shaven Goddess who was wearing nothing but a beaming smile and perfect set of tits.

Like most men in this situation, I was as stiff as a board, and she didn’t let it go to waste.

Without hesitation, she performed quite possibly one of the finest blowjobs I’ve ever received.

We dried off, and got back into bed where we talked and watched a movies until late in the day.

Before she left, we’d exchanged numbers and promised to meet up again.

And true to her word, when she finished her shift at the bar, I got a message and a knock on the door.

I’d be lying if I said this session was anything epic. Perhaps the absence of Viagra explained why I lasted less than a minute?

Either that or the fact that sleeping bareback is sooo much more satisfying – especially when you come inside them. How f*cking stupid and irresponsible of me.

After rinsing my residue from her insides, she got back into bed where we spent the rest of the night cuddling up like lovers.

I was genuinely beginning to fall for her.

We made a habit of texting during the day and meeting up at night.

Free of charge of course, after all we were kind of dating now.

This was pretty much our routine for a week or so until I told her I was leaving to go back to the UK in a couple of days.

She tried convincing me to stay, and refused to sleep until I agreed to think about it.

The next morning, I spent the whole day thinking about her, and felt anxious about leaving Thailand.

As it was my last night in Thailand (she didn’t know that), I thought I’d pop down to the bar where she was working.

As I turn up, I could see her chatting away with some lad who looked like he’d been breastfed steroids since birth.

Phuket is full of gym freaks and Muay Thai fighters – and this guy is one of the biggest tanks I’ve ever seen.

Jealousy (and reality) slapped me in the face like a tonne of sh*t. I’m unsure whether I felt more sick or stupid.

But just as I went to walk away, I heard her shout my name and run towards me.

She pounced at me, wrapped her arms and legs around my body, and kissed me as if nobody was watching.

I hung around until my little crush had finished her shift, and we went for a midnight beach walk, which is where she dropped the “L-bomb”.

Love is a strong word, I said. But she was convinced.

For a few hours we discussed the crazy possibility of becoming “boyfriend and girlfriend” and how I can live in Thailand and we could get a place together.

She was apparently tied into a contract with the bar which meant if she wanted to leave, she’d have to pay the equivalent of £250.

She then explained how making money in Phuket isn’t easy, and asked whether I could “look after her” if she was to quit prostitution.

On average, she used to make around £75 a day, which works out roughly a fella a night.

F*ck knows how many men she’d banged in the last year, let alone lifetime.

As we started to unravel the ins and outs of her chosen career, I’d started to get cold feet – after all, no guys wants to date a girl who used to suck c*cks for a living.

Our last night together was pretty average.

She still had no idea I was leaving when she departed my hotel in the morning.

The next message she got from me was when I was boarding the connecting flight at Bangkok.

Red-light delight

My experience with an Eindhoven red-light district prostitute

Was 15 minutes for €50 worth it?

Standing at the window, she looked like a Victoria’s Secret model – there wasn’t a single doubt in my mind… I’d made my decision.

After five minutes of walking around Eindhoven’s small, but organised red-light district (Baekelandplein) – it was time I put my money where my mouth was and for the first time ever – have sex with a prostitute.

As I walked in, ‘Simona’ greeted me with a cheeky smile, before kissing me on the cheek, taking my hand and escorting me upstairs.

She was incredibly well constructed. Tiny frame, curves in all the right places etc. She was also polite and lovely.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.

“I’ve never done this before.” I said. “Consider me a red-light virgin”.

She chuckled to herself, and told me not to worry as she closed the bedroom door and revealed her price.

“€50 please”. She took the cash and pointed me towards the bed.

“So, where you from?” she asked while starting to undress herself.

“Errrr…”

I start to choke like I’ve never seen a pair of tits before.

“London” I said.

My top’s off and I’m now trying to remove my skinny jeans as Simona opens a draw and pulls out a condom.

“So it’s your first time here in Eindhoven?” she asks.

 

[EINDHOVEN FLIGHTS + HOTEL]

 

Meanwhile, I’ve just noticed my under-prepared flop. F*CK!!!!

To buy some time (and kill my nerves) I ask where she’s from – while hopelessly fiddling with myself.

“Romania” she says smiling, having sussed what I’m trying to do.

“Are you nervous?” Simona asks, as she gently grips my suddenly awaking member.

Oh crap, it’s actually happening!

I slowly lay back on the bed and remove my pants.

She tears the Durex packaging and continues caressing me until I’m hard.

She positions the rubber and uses her mouth to slide it down my expanding shaft.

This girl’s knows what she’s doing.

Three or four minutes later and I’m almost ready to cum. I’m not sure how, but she knows.

She stops and asks whether I’m ready for sex. “Yes”.

Simona reaches over to the bedside draw and pulls out some lube (slightly off putting but f*** it)…

“What you like?” she says in an Eastern European accent – giving me the option to shag her in a variety of positions.

“Standard, for now I said” as I shoved her tiny body into position and starting thrusting away.

Now, I’d love to brag at how I pounded the shit out of her until my time was over but the truth was I was done quite a bit sooner that I’d imagined – an outcome I think we were both happy with.

£5 a minute eh? Absolutely worth it!

With some time still left on the clock, I thought I’d ask her a few questions such as whether she likes what she does, and whether she has a boyfriend.

Small talk basically, while we both started to dress ourselves.

“Sometimes I like what I do, other days not so much”.

Well I hope she liked it as much as I did.

On the way out she gives me a kiss goodbye, and the same smile that lured me to her in the first place.

I can honestly say it’s one of the best €50 euros I’ve spent this year.