My mum used to say that time was the best healer, yet my Dad said the best way to get over somebody is to get under someone.
But who’s right?
Here’s the most popular ways men deal with getting dumped.
TACTIC #1. GET UNDER TO GET OVER
It’s the oldest rule in the book. Get laid as quickly and as much as you can after a BREAKUP, and you’ll recover in no time.
I know a lot of men who swear by this technique, but it’s not for everyone.
Here’s a couple of pointers that have worked for me personally.
#1. Don’t pay for it.
When we pay for sex, it’s not earned and I’ve found men often feel dirty and worse off after using a prostitute.
#2. Try not compare
Stay in the moment and try not think of your ex whilst you’re banging away. If you can’t get your ex out of you head (even with your d*ck inside another girl) you’re probably need to find a new f*ck buddy.
#3. You technically don’t have to bang
Sounds gay but it’s NOT just about sex. A good spooning session can get those serotonin juices flowing again and this helps LOADS.
TACTIC #2. “TIME IS THE BEST HEALER”
It’s the most unhelpful advice you will ever be told.
Sorry Mum, time is NOT the best healer at all.
While it’s true that the pain gets less and less with time, there’s no guarantee you’re healing properly or as fast as you could if you took the proper steps.
TACTIC #3. REBOUND
Rebounding (aka replacing the ex with somebody else) is a rapid way to mask the pain, but might NOT be the best long term solution, as you’ll forever be dependant on somebody else to make you happy.
After a painful split in my late twenties I turned to a crush at work for some attention and it numbed the pain almost instantly.
From daily text messaging to the more frequent (and better) sex – the void my ex had left (and space in my bed) had literally been filled and replaced by somebody younger, better looking and more exciting.
I’d “successfully” managed to shift my emotions from one girl to the other, which was fantastic… whilst it lasted.
Within a month or so, my bubble had burst and I was almost back to square one again but with the new girl.
TACTICS #4. GO TRAVELLING
Travelling helps you grow as a person as you’ll be tested and forced outside your comfort zone.
There’s huge benefits in travelling from the people you’ll meet to the experiences you make.
I’ve met so many people who have quit their jobs and gone travelling shortly after breaking up with their partners – and they all say it’s the best move they ever made.
If you hate your job and your current life sucks, I’d highly recommend you pack you’re sh*t up, and go!
Yes it’s ballsy and brave. But if you’re genuinely hating life right now and in a position where you can do it, make it happen… This could be the best thing you ever do!
TACTIC #5. REINVENT YOURSELF
Reinvent yourself by finding things YOU like and want to do – find passions that interest YOU and work towards them.
Too many guys get pussy whipped into becoming the man their ex wanted them to be, and the men become pawns, predictable and unexciting.
One of our lads, Paul (yes I’m name dropping) was so pussy whipped he wasn’t even allowed out the house.
If this sounds like you then it’s possibly one of the reasons she broke up with you.
Women don’t like men who are pushovers. It’s time you grew some balls and start doing what you want to do.
Here’s the three core areas I recommend focussing on first when reinventing yourself.
Get your old mates back or find new ones by going to classes or interest groups. Lad nights are integral for the healing process, and your banter might be rusty so it’s time to dust off and start working on your social game.
Remember you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so you need to spend time with high energy, positive people. Tip: Avoid people who are closely linked to your ex.
#2. Physical Growth
Get active. Try a new sport which challenges you (rock climbing, mixed martial arts, boxing etc).
Exercise will not only make you look better, but you release endorphins too which will make you feel less sh*t about the whole breakup.
#3. Mental Growth
Learn something new. Perhaps a new language or skill… Perhaps learn to draw or write – trick is to do something which stimulates the brain and keeps your mind occupied.
I discovered the benefits of reinventing myself after a painful rejection in my early twenties.
As a distraction, I decided to learn how to code websites, joined a kickboxing gym and started blogging.
Six months later:
I was earning more money, in the best shape of my life and fell in love with a new girl I’d met through some blogging event.
Reinvent yourself by finding things YOU like and want to do. If you don’t know what you want to do, keep trying new things until you find it.