DRACULA – probably somebody you wouldn’t want to spend Halloween with.
And I’m not talking about Bram Stoker’s blood sucking monster – I’m talking about the REAL Dracula, known as Vlad The Impaler – who according to history books, was far more terrifying than the fanged, fictional beast.
Having killed between 40,000 – 100,000 people in the cruellest ways imaginable, Vlad Dracula (another one of his names) used to torture his victims before impaling enemy bodies on stakes. What a sick f*ck!!!
Fortunately for us though, the twisted leader died over five hundred years ago, leaving behind the greatest Halloween party venue on the planet… Bran Castle!!
Our two day trip started Cluj-Napoca. It’s the capital city of Transylvania and has a great variety of bars and clubs thanks to its student culture.
Shortly after arriving at the 4 star Hotel Paradis, we decided to hit the spa centre. Tommy had managed to smuggle in a couple of bottles of booze, which helped get us on our way.
Food and drink is insanely cheap here. Four cocktails, two sides and a large stack of barbecue pork ribs cost about £20 at Bar Toulouse – not sure how much Bianca’s bowl of lettuce cost but I bet that was cheap too.
Shortly after filling our tums, it was time to hit the clubs. First stop, Flying Circus was just as cheap as our bargain dinner, but had the advantages of a dance floor and foosball table.
Good starting point but lacked something… probably fit women.
The next stop (and last for most of us) was Club Janis – which played rock music until early hours.
Luke made friends with almost everyone, lost his coat and couldn’t find his way back to the hotel. James was kicked out, Conner copped off with the fittest girl in the club while Tommy and Bianca were left mesmerised by my masterful two-step dance skills on the top platform.
Was a great night, but a little gutted we missed Noa’s Halloween party – as it’s supposed to be the best club in town.
The next morning and after some s**t breakfast – it was time for our 5 hour trek to The House of Dracula, an incredibly eerie, but friendly castle-themed hotel which has some seriously stunning views.
We hired out an entire annex for a couple of hundred quid (which worked out less than £40 each a night).
On arrival, the hotel manager give us a tour of the ground. My God did he look like a vampire. Creepy chap, but incredibly kind and helpful.
After finally getting our fancy dress costumes ready – it was time.
To find Dracula’s fortress you have to drive through the ancient town of Brasov, taking the roads between the forest and mountains. Only then will you discover Bran Castle, glowing a fitting blood red in the misty distance.
Bran is a small town in Transylvania, a Romanian state famous for its vampires and birthplace of the horror film icon, Count Dracula.
NOTE: It’s less than 500km from Bucharest.
To get inside the medieval masterpiece, we had to climb a cobbled stoned pathway and queue outside in the cold with hundreds of people from across the globe, desperate to get a dose of some horrible history and a tour of the castle by “Vlad”.
Of course, Tommy come prepared, and like the Chinese kid out of the Goonies, opened up his coat to unveil enough Vodka for the entire castle.
When we eventually got in, we were taken through the narrow staircases and 600-year-old torture rooms.
There’s no denying it, Vlad was a sick maniac, thank f**k he’s dead!
But as much as some of us loved history, it’s not why we were here…
As soon we’d had enough of Tommy trying to scare people in the castle by flicking lights off and screaming – we were taken outside, given black Vodka shots and told to walk through a dark and dingy pathway, where we’d eventually find Dracula’s After party tent at the back of the courtyard.
We were interviewed by some Romanian TV channel along the way, where I couldn’t help but play out my cheerleading zombie character.
You could here James howling like a wolf in the background, while Bianca dressed as “Little Dead Riding Hood” stood embarrassed when I revealed we were from “a very dark, dark place” – the interview come to an abrupt ending.
It’s party time!
As we entered the party tent, Conner and Tommy’s eyes lit up like a beacon. Unlike Cluj-Napoca, there was more than enough women here. Admittedly not all of them spoke English, but that didn’t stop Conner getting a blowjob off some French bird in the first hour.
Meanwhile, Tommy was quick to get the first, second and THIRD round of shots in, whilst we danced alongside drunk Draculas, Mummies, Jokers, Teletubbies, Clowns, Strippers and even Dwarves!
In fact with the exception of Tommy and the security guards, EVERYONE made serious effort.
It’s without doubt the best Halloween party I’ve ever been to. And it went until daylight. The music was electric, despite the amount of people in the tent, there was plenty of space to bust some moves – although Luke’s cape spin didn’t end too well.For an event so popular, the drink prices were cheap too.
As our night come to an end, our group of eight had turned to a three.
Our driver asked “where are the others?” – and the truth was we didn’t know.
Although it remained a mystery as to where Gemma, James, Tommy and Alana ended up that night – we did discover Conner had managed to bang his SECOND of the night.
Having SEX in Dracula’s Castle courtyard has to be the number one place to bang on Halloween. And like the legend of Count Dracula, will be a story that will live on forever.