I could waffle on about Bahamas for weeks, but I’m not here to sell the honeymoon destination – I’m here to talk about pigs.
Now you must’ve seen the Expedia advert (below) and wondered whether you can actually swim with the porkers?
Yes, you can. There’s a number of Exumas boat cruises that will take you.
The company I went with (Island Routes) charge approx £120 for an unforgettable sea safari which sails past a number of hidden cays, celebrity homes, Iguana Island and the famous, Pig Beach. Which is where you’ll get to feed and swim with the oinkers.
I was the first on our boat to jump in while others took snaps and fed them bread rolls. It was quite impressive watching the fat bastards stay afloat.
Our boat captain shouted down to me told me to grab one’s tail. I did just that and the porker somehow managed to drag me along the water – not quite dolphin fashion, but still.
Just as others started to dive in I noticed a couple of dark objects appear at the top of the water.
It was sh*t, and lots of it.
As you can imagine, they’re fed by tourists all day, which means the cheeky sausages are often in need of a number two.
Fortunately, I was able to get out of the water quick enough – others however weren’t.
It reminded me of the famous Kevin and Perry “It’s a FLOATER” scene (below) – although I don’t think anyone swallowed it, thank God!
I can’t wait to revisit the Bahamas. It’s really is one of the most beautiful places on Earth.
There’s a reason Johnny Depp, Nicholas Cage and David Copperfield all own homes here. And I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with the bacon.
Note: Sadly the little porkers are now dead after a British tourist fed them booze.